Paris and the Night Buses from Hell

This past weekend, we went back to Paris once again, because we found pretty cheap bus tickets there and back, and it was Rachel's birthday on Friday.

So, besides just showing a few pictures and naming a few highlights of the trip, I will really only be telling the wonderful story of the NIGHT BUS.

Only when it's on the night bus. From Hell.

So we headed out on Friday night, and the bus was to arrive in Paris Saturday morning really early. The bus ride was about seven hours long. We made it to the bus station in Stuttgart alright and with plenty of time to spare (we took extra precautions, as I did not want to go through what we went through last time again!), and we waited for the bus to come. When it did come, we gave the guy our tickets and headed onto the bus. Once on the bus, we soon realized that all of the seats had bags and such on them. It really looked like there were no places. After much confusion, Hannah and I managed to get a set of two seats two rows behind the driver. Great right? Here I am thinking, "Oh how wonderful! Now I won't get carsick! I'll be able to sleep! This is going to be an easy ride!"... I hope you know where this is going.

So our bus driver starts off and we drive for about an hour, stopping maybe about three times so that he can stop for a smoke each time (even when there was no other purpose for stopping). On the last stop that we made with the driver, we picked up two people: an older guy and who was presumably his daughter. The guy, we found out, was the replacement for our bus driver.

So the new guy is out there smoking with the old bus driver... and they smoke... and they smoke... and apparently smoking outside wasn't fun enough, because he decides that he's going to smoke inside the bus, while driving, with all of us inside! 

This may be just about the equivalent of the look that I gave. Maybe more daggers shooting out of the eyes.

I also forgot my inhaler on this trip. So I was freaking out that I would die on a night bus, because some guy couldn't wait a few hours to light up.

Anyway... not only did this guy smoke on the bus, but he was probably the world's worst driver EVER! The first bus driver stayed on the bus a little while (I believe the give the new guy directions. Promising, right?), and the new bus driver would turn his head to talk to him and to his daughter. That wouldn't have been too much of a problem, except that he would forget to look at the road for a while, and then turn his head back to the road after a minute or two to find himself in the next lane... only then would he swerve back into the lane we were originally in. 

This was a process that went on most of the night. He was a terrible driver. I was so tired, and so was Hannah. We both agreed, though, that we were afraid to close our eyes to go to sleep, for fear of dying.

Well, eventually we did fall asleep, for a little while. I do remember, though, that at 4:45am, I was awoken by the inability to breathe. The bus driver had taken up to smoking a whole new cigarette inside the bus while driving, with only the window cracked enough so that he could flick his ashes out there. 

Come on.. seriously?

It was all very frustrating. 

Eventually we got in, and had a wonderful time in Paris.

Here are some of my pictures:

Disney celebrated 20 years while we were there.

The Arc de Triomph.

The Eternal Flame and the Grave of the Unknown Soldier (or the French equivalent).

We walked so much while we were there. When I got home today, my feet were SO swollen, and my knees are killing me. I finally feel like a member of my family, as now I have aching knees.

We went to the Musee d'Orsay! There, they had pieces of art by many of the greats, such as Monet, Van Gogh, and Degas! I liked this museum way better than the Louvre. This one was so much more do-able. Also, we got to see almost all of it, after spending a good three to four hours in there!

They had these clocks inside the museum. I want to say that the museum was a converted train station... that or a palace.

Montmartre on the hill in the distance! I didn't really take that many pictures besides these few. Sorry!

 We gave ourselves enough time to get to the bus depot on the way back (once again, unlike last time). We checked in after waiting a while, and then found our bus. To our unlucky surprise, guess who our bus driver turned out to be.... 

That's right, Mr. I Smoke on the Bus and Have a Death Wish Bus Driver.

I was less than pleased.

This time, we got seats far enough away from the front that hopefully we wouldn't die of secondhand smoke, but also far enough forward that I wouldn't get sick from the motion. The bus smelled like smoke, and B.O.; then later it smelled like smoke, B.O., and pee. I'm not sure I want to know why that extra smell was added into that already colorful array of smells, but that's how it was.

Everything was mostly fine on the way back, (he did smoke on the bus again, and it did wake me up, but it wasn't as bad, because I was further back) except for one incident at a rest stop.We stopped at this little convenience store/gas station in the middle nowhere somewhere still in France on the way back. The driver said on the intercom (in German) "15 minute break". Hannah got up, and went to go take her contacts out in the bathroom. Rachel went into the bathroom. I decided that I should go too. Helina, however, waited on the bus to watch our stuff. We all got back to the bus at the same time, and also at the same time that our bus driver was getting back to the bus. When we got back on, Helina said that she was going to go to the bathroom. I thought she was just going to go really fast, as time was practically up. As we sat there, all of a sudden, our bus driver starts the engine and goes to close the doors. Hannah urged Rachel to go tell him that Helina wasn't there yet, so that she wouldn't be left behind. She went up and tried to explain that her friend was in the bathroom. He just said, "Fifteen minutes means fifteen minutes". Rachel tells him that she's going to run in to get Helina. He just scoffs and looks anxious to leave. Then another girl runs up and says that they can't leave yet because her friend is still inside too. So she runs to go get her friend. Well, the other girl comes back with her friend, and when they sit down, the bus driver starts to close the doors and begins to drive away. Hannah, panicked, tells me to go tell him that they're still inside. I was quite impressed that, even though I was tired and under stress, I still managed to pull off a comprehensible sentence in German. I yelled that there were two people that were still not back yet. He just kept saying in response that fifteen minutes meant fifteen minutes. At this point, I'm freaking out. I can't see them. They weren't coming. All of their bags were on the bus still. If he did leave, then they would be completely stranded... with no way of getting back.

I was playing it in my head, that if he was determined to leave him behind, then I was going to grab their bags, and my own and hop off the bus to wait for them. At least then they would have a chance of getting back. 

As they still were not coming out, the bus driver then closed the doors, and started to drive away. Then Rachel and Helina walk out of the door. (I love you guys, but I have to say it how it is). They walked (walked being the key word) up to the bus, up the steps, and to their seats! I'm having a heart attack over here, and they only walked as the bus was pulling away!!!! GAHH guys! I swear, I don't think I have been that freaked out in a long long time. Helina said that she thought he said thirty minutes, instead of fifteen.

Not something I enjoyed. 

After that incident, they pretty much stayed on the bus during breaks. We got back late, as we hit traffic. After a while, though, I made it back to my room and faced a long day of warm weather (a little too warm if you ask me), swollen feet, and classes.

Stocherkahnrennen

So every year in Tuebingen, they hold a Stocherkahnrennen (Stocherkahn Race). It took place about two weeks ago on a Thursday when everyone had a day free of classes! Needless to say, everyone was down at this race. I walked down, as all the buses were full, to the Neckar Island with Hannah. Once there, we saw just how crazy it was. We eventually found a spot to stand so that we could see most of what was going on. We had a few hours before the actual race started, but beforehand they parade around on the boats to show off their costumes. All the teams get really into it.

The bridge was completely lined with people, as was the island. The Germans also started to drink at about 12. We saw one guy fall into the water, and then another guy try to help him, but fell in because he had had too much to drink and hit his head going down. It was quite a spectacle.

All the boats lined up before all the teams arrived.

Dedication. They made it into a bus. All the guys in it were jumping up and down. I'm surprised they stayed standing.

Is that a plane, you may find yourself asking...

Why yes, yes it is. They made their boat into a plane. They also shot little poppers to simulate the machine gun.

The pirate boat.

This one was pretty creative. You have the two guys who ferry the dead bodies to the other side. All the guys inside the boat had toe tags on them.

Protesters.

Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang. Don't ask why Charlie Brown's head is so small... because I have no idea. I guess he's just not that creative with paper-mache.

Wholesome, Germany.

Those guys must have felt pretty confident. Also, notice the hand prints on the butts. They got a lot of applause from the crowd.

The party boat. Smoke machine included. They had the whole wall of people up there doing the YMCA. It was fun to watch.

People way up on the church tower. I don't know how well you could've seen from up there.

And finally, after waiting for so long, the race began. This first boat zoomed past the others. It was a boat of all these super buff girls.

Now, I thought that the people inside the boat don't do anything... but I was wrong. What they do is: they paddle with their arms, and they even alternate sides so that one arm doesn't have to do all the work!

 You can see them paddling away! Intense!

Now, as the boats went by... you would start to see the guys standing on the back drenched. I guess falling in is not that uncommon an occurrence. But the Germans cheer every time anyway!

There we go! One guy fell out.

Another guy dropped the big stick that they use to push the boat, and had to jump out and swim back for it. Sound familiar Christina?!

Another guy had the strategy to hold on to the boat in front of them. That way they wouldn't go any faster.

A lot of the boats would also run ashore every once in a while. Well, they would hit the trees and would get stuck for a bit. Falling into the water happened a lot at this point.

A lot of the boats had taken on a good amount of water.

The no clothes option did not seem to make them any faster or aerodynamic... as they were pretty far towards the back. Sorry guys.

It was a lot of fun to see the Germans getting all wacky all for the sake of this tradition. The winners get to drink beer, while the losers have to drink cod liver oil. Yuck!

It was fun, and well worth it to make the journey out to see it! Glad I was able to go!

London: Part II

 Thursday

Late Wednesday night, two girls came into the room. They were speaking in German, and could not figure out why there wasn't a free bed for one of them. There were nine beds, and eight were taken. So they went downstairs and came back with a guy from the desk. The guy asked everyone who they were, and in the end figured that one of the beds was not taken, but just looked like someone had crashed there during the day. As he was taking the sheets off the bed, the guy noticed a pill under the pillow. He goes, "Well, that's Viagra. Some guy OD'd on this last week". At this point, I'm wondering, "What kind of place am I staying in?!" The girls got their bed situation figured out, and I went to bed.

I woke up Thursday morning, got breakfast, and walked to the Regency Hotel once more for the pickup shuttle. Luckily, this time it actually showed up. The lady that picked us up was really quite annoying. She kept complaining about the drivers that she had to work with, and how they didn't know what they were doing. We were dropped off to get on our actual tour bus. This time the bus was a lot smaller, with almost no leg room. Our tour guide this time was a lot different from our guide on Monday. On Monday, our tour guide, Robert, was a classy sort of English gentleman. Thursday, our guide's name was Tony. He was an interesting character. He would start talking with one word sentences and then go on to explain that word.

For example.

"Monarchy. The monarchy. Our Queen Mother. The King. They are wonderful. They are strong. We would never get rid of them. And here's why: ((Queue some long anecdote about the royal family)). And that is why they are spectacular. Bob's your uncle. It's as simple as that."

That was his favorite phrase: "It's as simple as that". Everything was that simple apparently. He liked to talk, and there was hardly a time where he wasn't going on about one thing or the other. He was full of random facts, which was kind of interesting to listen to. He went on about Oxford, and like I said, the monarchy, and many other topics.

Our first stop was Windsor Castle.

We had our first mini-tour courtesy of Tony. Then we took a tour of the apartments (including a giant doll house). While we were "queuing" for the apartments, some punk kid tried to cut in front of our group to be with his group, and Tony got on his case about how in England you always queue, and it's very disrespectful to cut in front. That kid (and I say kid, but he was probably about 14) got an earful from Tony. I would not want to be on Tony's bad side. 

Cannonball!

After walking through the apartments, I finished a bit earlier than everyone else, so I went to go see the changing of the guard.

 And then they broke out the International Man of Mystery Himself, Austin Powers! Well, the music from the movie anyway..

Then it was back to the bus to head to Bath. On the way there, we drove through the countryside. We saw the Uffington White Horse, which is a horse made of chalk on the hillside.

Here's an illustration of it. Basically, that was what it was.

I got very car sick again, and my throat was killing me. 

The English countryside.

We made it to Bath eventually. We got to see the old town surrounding it. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time there to see the town, as I would have liked to have had the chance to walk around a bit.  We got to see Jane Austen's house, where Johnny Depp had a house (one of many I'm sure)...

Jane Austen's House.

...and where crazy Nicholas Cage had a house before he had to sell it for tax reasons. He bought too many shrunken heads I guess. Just not enough money for both shrunken heads and residences. He's crazy...

We then gout off the bus in front of the Abbey, went to the baths, and took a tour with audio guides. 

Not the BEES! Grade A acting right there.

The Abbey.

The water was really gross. They told people not to touch it, and to be careful not to fall in. People still touched it. Luckily, no one fell in!

This was a heated spring. It was bubbling.

The pathways were sometimes just small passages like the one on the right of this picture.

Interested in reading Harrius Potter?

We even got to try the natural spring water. It just tasted like well water with a lot of iron in it.

Outside the Abbey again on our way back to the bus.

The city was really beautiful.

It had an amazing view.

Also, there were a lot of very old buildings.

Just look at that view. I'm quite proud of this picture. I took it from the opposite side of the bus!

Again, taken from the opposite side of the bus, but not as great this time. Sorry.

From there we got back on the bus and took an even more stomach churning route (although it was beautiful) to Stonehenge. Once there, we walked around and took lots of pictures.

Thatched roofed houses on the way to Stonehenge.

They mystery that is Stonehenge.

It was really windy.

Jeff and Anne.

Sheep grazing.

According to our tour guide, and based on this picture outside of Stonehenge, Burt Reynolds built Stonehenge.

See the resemblance? I do!

After Stonehenge, it was time to head back to London. It didn't take long to get back to the city. We were dropped off at South Kensington, where we went for dinner. After dinner, I called it an early night. When I got up to my room, my card wouldn't open the door. Instead of going back down and up those stairs to get my card fixed, I just kept trying until one of my roommates let me in. It was pretty embarrassing, but at that point I didn't care too much. It was bedtime for me!

Friday

I woke up, and consequently woke all my roommates up with my alarm. When I went downstairs for breakfast, I had the guy at the desk fix my key card. I walked to the Underground station, and took the tube to Monument station, walked around a bit, then took the tube to Tower Hill, where I waited for the rest of the group. 

My first sight of London Bridge.

Tower Hill.

The green moat outside Tower Hill.

It was pretty cloudy outside.

When they all showed up, we bought tickets and took a free tour with "Barney". (He said his name was Barney, but his name tag said Michael. Still haven't been able to figure that one out). Barney was very enthusiastic and gave a great tour.

Wire statues of some of the animals that they used to have in the Menagerie at Tower Hill.

There's Barney in the flesh. What a great Beefeater he was!

NBC vans.

Under that clock is where the entrance to the crown jewels was.

I've never seen a raven before in person! That thing was HUGE!!

Where the beheadings were held.

Wire baboons.

Vorsicht! Raben koennen zuschnappen!

Wire polar bear. I hate polar bears.

They were broadcasting for the Jubilee weekend. NBC was there with vans and they were filming. After the tour, we got to see the crown jewels. 

Then we went to the Armament in White Tower.

Nobody could wield that sword. It was for coronations or some sort of ceremony, I think.

Really, Henry the VIII? Really? A bit excessive, don't you think?

Worlds smallest and largest armor, right next to each other.

Soldiers would take supplies and make sculptures out of them.

View from the tower.

Off with his head!

The staff was dressed up and would interact with the tourists. At one point, this lady got a whole group of small children to boo another man. It was fun to watch.

Poor guy on the left used to be a judge, until the new king took over. Now he's fleeing for his life!

Then we went to the torture exhibit. They had the rack that stretched people out, and the one that folded people up into a sort of box as a form of torture.

Then we walked past the London Bridge to St. Kathryn's Docks, where we had lunch at the Dickens Inn! What the Dickens!?

I'm reading this book right now, so I was very excited to see a quote up there!

Fish and chips and mushy peas.

Afterwards, we took the tube to Westminster. Once there, we walked to the Churchill war rooms. The museum was very interactive and I learned quite a bit. 

My favorite Churchill quote!

Unfortunately, we kept loosing each other in this museum. It was very confusing. On top of that, I got very sick. I think I had some sort of bug. Who knows.

Then we walked back through St. James Park to their hotel, where I split from everyone else, and headed back to my hostel. 

The Natural History Museum on the way to my hostel from the tube station.

I absolutely LOVE how Charles is not on this. Wah wah..

When I got back to my room, the two German girls were there. I got to talk with them in German for a bit. I think they were excited to learn that I could speak German. They were from Bremen and Hanover. It was nice to get to talk with them for a while. After that, I relaxed a bit, took a shower, and then went to bed.

Saturday

The last day.

I got ready, and had a bit of a later start. I took the tube after breakfast to Black Friar. From there I walked to the Globe Theater. I didn't go in, because the line was long.

After the Globe Theater, I walked across Millennium Bridge.

I was on this bridge, and at the end is St. Paul's Cathedral. On the other end is the Globe Theater. Luckily when I was on it, no Death Eaters attacked. :)

I walked across the bridge to St. Paul's Cathedral. And then some how, managed to find myself on Fleet Street....

...minus one Demon Barber!

I don't know how I ended up there, and I didn't really know where I was going, but it was alright, because I could always retrace my steps to get back to where I was. I ended up finding a tube station, and took that to Green Park. On the tube, there were about four or five little French kids on there, from the ages of 5 to about 11. The kids were swinging from the railings from the ceiling, climbing up the poles, and jumping from seat to seat. All the while, their mothers couldn't have cared less. They even showed some approval to this. I was super annoyed. Get your kids in line!

I went to meet Aunt Enid and Uncle Ed at their hotel, where I went with them to change hotels. We took a taxi with a very grouchy cab driver. We met up with everyone at the hotel, ate lunch, and then took a tour of Little Venice. 

Where we ate lunch: The Lamb and Flag.

While our tour guide was talking, this guy came up and started to throw bottles into the garbage, so we couldn't hear.

The tour guide had some name for this bird. Quite a nest it's got there.

Our guide sang songs to us and dropped lots of names.

From there it was back to the tube to head to Leicester, were they all bought tickets for a musical. I didn't think I could go, though, because I thought I was going to have to take the tube to the airport at 11 something and spend the night in the airport. We at dinner in Covent Garden. 

Afterwards, it was a sad farewell. They all left to find their theater, and I went to walk to Piccadilly Circus station after first finding a bank and a small souvenir for myself. I took the tube back to my hostel. All the hoards of people and drunks were out for the Jubilee weekend. 

When I got back, I thought that I would either have to take the tube at about 12:30, or take a night bus that left anytime after 1 in the morning. Welcome to the night bus, emergency transport for the stranded college student.

I imagine that if I had taken the night bus, this is what would have happened:

I decided that the tube was probably my safest bet. I finished packing (you always have more at the end of a trip) and getting ready and had some time, so I laid down for a while. While I was resting, my phone kept beeping, because the battery was dying. Also, some sort of alarm went off in the hostel for about thirty seconds. It sounded like a fire alarm. When it stopped, I assumed that it was just a false alarm, and was going to go back to sleep. Then the thought popped into my head that I did not want to make it on to the list of people who died in the hostel. I did not want to be on the same list as the guy who OD'd on Viagra! So... I popped my head out into the hallway to listen for screams of impending doom. When there weren't any, I took that as a sign of safety and went back to laying down. With about 45 minutes to get to the tube station, I went downstairs with all my bags to checkout. I had actually paid for that night, but there was nothing I could do about it. The guy asked why I was checking out then, and I told him that my flight left at 6:30 in the morning. He understood.

When I headed outside, it was raining. I didn't have my glasses on, because of the rain. I figured it wasn't that important to have them on. As long as I could see the headlights of death coming at me, I'd be alright. When I got to the tube station platform it was deserted. I was just sitting there all alone on the platform. I thought that I had missed the last tube of the night. All of a sudden I see some movement out of the corner of my left eye. I looked over, and there was a mouse on the platform. And then there were two... and then three. They would move so fast, and because no one was there, they were running all over the platform. One came close to me, and I stomped my foot to keep it away. It may have been cute, but it was still vermin, so I didn't want it near me. Eventually, the last tube of the night came, and it was very busy. I got a seat after a while. When I got into the airport, I learned that I couldn't sell back my Oyster card (the card I had bought for the tube), because it was too early. So if anyone is going to London within the next two years!

I found a place to sit in the arriving section, as I thought that I couldn't go through to the departure area yet. It was cold and uncomfortable, but eventually I fell asleep, and woke up around 4am.

I headed to the departure area, checked in at a machine, and asked where I could check my bag. The lady told me "Zone B". So I walked to Zone B, only to find an ungodly long line! It took me about 45-50 minutes to get through it. I finally got through, and luckily got through security quickly. There was no gate until 5:40, and boarding started at 5:55. Doesn't seem that well thought out to me. The gate was up a little early. I got on my plane, fell asleep, and woke up when we weren't moving. I figured that we were there, until we started to take off. So, I guessed that I hadn't been sleeping for long. I fell asleep again, and woke up as we were getting ready to land. Everyone was freaking out! Apparently, we had been delayed by a couple of hours. By the time we landed, my next flight had already left. They had a different flight for me to take at 1:15. I felt bad for the guys next to me, they had to wait 12 hours for the next flight to where they were going, because their flight had left too. We stopped and had to take a bus to the terminal from the plane. I went to the counter to get a new ticket. I told the guy that my plane had left and I was told that I could take a different flight, but wanted to know if I could get a new ticket. The guy asked for my ticket. I gave it to him. He then said, "Oh, this flight has already left." Noo, really?! I know that. I needed a new flight. I already said that. I sorted all that out, while remaining calm, and then headed to customs. While in line for customs, one of the officers went on a rant to her colleague in German about how people living in Germany should be able to speak German. She went on and on. When I got up there with my American passport, I made sure that they only heard German from me. I didn't want this lady to yell at me. Oh god.

I went through security, and found that on the board, my gate said A40. I walked the 30 something minutes to get to the very end of terminal A, where A40 was. When I got there there was an announcement that the gate had changed to A18. So, with not much time before the boarding time, I ran down to A18. Once at A18, I looked up at the screen, and saw that it said "Madrid". A lady, who had come with me from A40, asked about the flight to Stuttgart. The lady at the desk wrote down a time on her ticket that said 15:25 (3:25). I was pissed! I was going to have to wait until 3:25 until I evens started my trip back to Stuttgart. I could've taken the train! I sat down prepared to wait, when an announcement came on the overhead. They said that the flight to Stuttgart had a gate change to A11! Another gate change!?! AHHH! I ran down to that gate, and finally found the right gate! When I got there, a girl asked me if she was in the right place, and I looked at her ticket. It was the same as mine, so I told her that I didn't know why they weren't boarding, but that this was the right place. She then asked one of the airport staff, who told her to go to A40! Poor girl ran all the way down to the end of the terminal, only to make it back to that gate and onto the plane. She looked pissed when she got back on the plane!

I made it to Stuttgart with no problem from there. I took the bus from Stuttgart to Tuebingen, and made it home safely after a great trip with some crazy stories!